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Birth Box | Online Hypnobirthing Course | Pop That Mumma

CLARE'S BIRTH STORY

First time Mum using the
Oxytocin Bubble track

​I qualified as a midwife in 2015 and have been teaching Hypnobirthing since 2020. I'm also an infant feeding specialist working full time for the NHS and a Lactation Consultant. I used all of the tools that Hypnobirthing brings alongside Poppy's course and audios. I spent time visualising my birth everyday, breathing practice, positive stories, affirmation cards around the house, meditation practice, the positive affirmations audio every night. If I woke up in the night for a wee I would put it back on again to fall asleep to. 

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I booked an independant midwife around 28 weeks as I had this strong gut feeling that the NHS wouldn't have a midwife to send me on the day and I didn't want to have to choose between freebirthing and going into hospital. Other things I did were acupressure, reflexology, ALOT of osteopathy with a pregnancy specialist who released a lot of tension in my pelvis and at 38 weeks gave me the green light that everything was 'ready' for birth, I did biomechanics most nights with my husband, stretches on the birthing ball, pelvic floor exercises, I took raspberry leaf tea and ate dates from about 32 weeks. 

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I had unwavering support from my husband, he was by my side the entire time supporting my decisions and reminding me I could do it when doubt started to creep in during my last trimester. I also opted out of measurements and induction for post term after reviewing all of the evidence behind both. 

"I spent time visualising my birth everyday"

A 3:30am on the 26th May I woke up after a really good sleep feeling refreshed, went for a wee and my waters broke on the toilet! I felt so excited, thinking she will be here in the next day or two (we knew it was a girl). I got straight back into bed and put on a relaxation audio from Poppy's course. I had listened to these since I was about 12 weeks pregnant so I immediately relaxed everytime I heard it. I got contractions immediately, about 1 every 10 mins or so, so I began learning breathing with contractions, thinking about my baby , focusing on all the things I was grateful for, especially the natural onset of contractions and my waters breaking, I was visualising my cervix opening and muscles pulling up. I remember feeling so happy and also really relaxed.

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Energy started building up in my legs and I tried to shake it off in bed but they were strong and so I listened to my body and at about 4:30am I got up and moved around the kitchen, leaning over the island, which felt loads better. Made an electrolyte drink and started getting all my birth comfort bits out and ready. Did some forward leaning inversion on the sofa as I had a feeling she was in the back to back position before my waters went.

 

Soon enough the sun was up and it felt way too bright. We don't have any blinds or curtains in our lounge, and I was certain she would be born at night! I really wanted somewhere cosier and darker, So I took my birthing ball into the bedroom and shut the curtains. I Went inwards and put my eye mask and headphones in with the oxytocin bubble. Oh my goodness, this audio was SO GOOD. Everything I needed to hear in that moment was in that audio and I listened intently to every word, finding my flow.

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​ I felt way comfier on the ball and found each surge really fine, I was amazed at how quickly and strong they were coming but I was relieved that they didn't actually hurt. I spent a lot of time in pregnancy worrying if I would cope with labour pain as I've always thought of myself to be quite weak when it comes to pain. I focused again on love, gratitude, deep relaxation of my muscles and relaxing my pelvic floor with each breath in.

 

I was excited for my husband to wake up, this was about 6am. He came in at that time and I told him what was happening. I said I'm absolutely fine, things are happening but it's really early, I'm not in any pain, I'm just practising my breathing and staying relaxed. I remember thinking how glad I was that I didn't at any point need to decide when to get in the car to go to hospital. I was so happy that I had everything I needed here and the midwives were coming to me when needed so I just melted into my space. I opted out of timing contractions. I felt like I wanted to trust my instincts with it rather than the clock. I didn't want to get hyper fixated on timings because often labour follows it's own time line and I wanted to stay inwards and not be distracted or use my thinking brain too much.  I was certain the tens was going to be really good for me so we whacked that on but I honestly don't think it changed the sensation at all. Maybe because I didn't feel the sensation to be painful, just a powerful feeling, it didn't feel much different. I just remember finding the wires really annoying so I took it off.

"It felt like I was on a roller coaster that was going faster than I could hold on for"

About 6:30am I went for a wee and said to Luke that things have picked up a bit. I had a heavy show on my pad and clear liquor. I had a strong urge to be on all fours on the bathroom floor so I suggested he call our midwife now that it was daytime and inform her that my waters had gone and that things were starting up. Contractions were about 2 mins apart and I asked Luke to send her a photo of the blood as I didn't feel able to decide if this was definitely just show or anything more. I felt like it was fine, just that possibly my cervix was opening quite fast. I felt her moving normally throughout the entire labour and birth which I didn't expect but it was really reassuring to me that she was doing just fine. My contractions were coupling every time (suggestive of OP) but I wouldn't say I had any back pain at all. 

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I thought as I was on the bathroom floor this might actually be established labour, because they are 3:10 and I can't talk through them. But I also thought that would be very fast so let's not get the midwife out yet as it could slow down and might be a good while yet. 

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I started to feel like I wasn't able to keep up with each contraction. Almost like I was on a roller coaster that was going faster than I could hold on for. I was absolutely fine and my husband said from the outside it looked like I was totally in control of my breathing, I guess I just felt like I didn't have much time in between to get my bearings and prepare for the next one. 

I felt like I needed to get more in control of my breathing so I put some candles on, a wax melt, brought the speaker into the bathroom and ran a bath. I had spent so much time in pregnancy in the bath, doing relaxation every night, using music and breathing to fully relax, so I thought this room will really help me to settle into it. I also thought that the contractions would slow down in there as there wasn't much time in between before the next one, but they definitely didn't. 

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I was side lying and listening to the meditation. I had a moment where I thought I was going to vomit and I thought hmm maybe I am progressing fast. I wanted to be on all fours but my upper body was getting really cold. I grabbed a towel and put it round my shoulders and kept my bum in the warm water.

 

I think I had a lot of adrenaline because I felt so shivery and cold so I decided to get out and head back to the bedroom to get back on the ball and warm up with a dressing gown. I took a photo at this point because I wanted to remember timings of events and knew I had no way of remembering the time. I had my cat next to me the whole time so I got a photo of her on the bed watching me labour, at 07:45am. I got back in the zone, tried the tens again but still nothing changed in terms of easing the intensity off. Things were really intense at this point.

I came down to the floor and really needed Luke there with each contraction and I was desperate to squeeze his hand with each one. He was trying to quickly set up the birthing space and pool but every second that he wasn't there was so so hard, and the second he was there I was fine and coping. I started feeling really sick again and then was sick a couple of times - I thought being sick in labour would be awful and stress me out, but I actually felt so much better for it! I also used that as a gauge that I was definitely in labour now. I remember hearing on the meditation about the surges building in intensity as labour progresses and I just burst into tears to Luke saying I can't do this, how can it get more intense than this?! He was so good, holding me and reminding me of course I can and I WANT to do this, which really helped. Hello transition! 

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I told him that I felt like I need to poo and I was going to try sitting on the loo hoping I could go. Sitting on the loo was so intense. The contractions were non stop in that position and actually painful so I knew I needed to get off the toilet. I decided to get back in the bath and try to relax, and I brought the speaker in to focus on my breathing. In the bath I felt like the warm water was wonderful but I needed more of my body in it than I could comfortably get in as I had to be on all fours. I asked Luke to fill up the pool and let the midwives know I was definitely in labour. I said I'm sure this is labour, it must be. I could hear how vocal I was being with each surge and I recognised those noises from labouring women so I had to stop doubting myself and accept that this really was it. I had planned to hold off getting in the pool until the end, but I felt like I needed to be in warm water to relax and warm up, I was so cold. Luke was unsure that I could possibly be in active labour so quickly, so he suggested I do an internal examination on myself before we called them out. I'm guessing this was about 08:00am-ish? I opted out because I was scared I'd be only 1cm and it would really mess with my head. I also felt like regardless of the number they need to come soon, so I told him it was time, to call our midwife to come - I remember saying this baby is definitely coming today. 

Waiting for the pool to fill felt like forever. I just waited patiently in the bath breathing through as best I could.

"This baby is definitely coming today"

Once the pool was filled I got in and immediately felt calmer, weightless, relaxed and I opened the glass doors and listened to the birds feeling the breeze over me, thinking what a beautiful day it is for my baby's birthday.

 

My contractions slowed a little once I was in the pool and I questioned if I was in the rest and be thankful stage. I could feel my pelvis opening up and her moving down. I thought that was going to hurt because of other people's stories I heard, but it didn't hurt at all. I could feel it but there was no pain to it.

​​The midwife contacted Luke and asked if I wanted her to pick up gas and air on the way, thinking in my head that things could get bad towards the pushing stage so I said yes, although I was thinking she needs to hurry or she's going to miss the birth. I then started feeling pushy with the peak of each contraction and I felt like I really needed to poo at this point. I got out the pool to try and go to the toilet but I couldn't go, contractions were so horrible on the toilet. I thought maybe I'm fully dilated and maybe it's her head and I thought if not then I'm just going to have to poo in the pool! So I got back in and told Luke to tell the midwife I was feeling pushy. This was at 09:00am. I didn't like the feeling of pushing with the urge. I said to Luke that I was scared because I didn't know what it was going to feel like. I preferred to squeeze Lukes hand and vocalise and breathe with that pushy feeling, rather than push with it, and then it was totally manageable.

 

The midwife arrived at about 9:30am and began setting things up. I thought I was going to be really put off by the change in energy with the midwives arriving but in fact I felt more relaxed and each contraction felt easier to manage. It wasn't long before her head became visible. The midwife said she could see the top of her head and I reached down and felt her head and hair. I couldn't believe she was already coming in such a short time.​

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Time goes so fast in labour and I remember thinking, if I am fully dilated and about to have her then this is really fine. They offered me gas and air and I declined because I was in such a good flow with my breathing and my mindset was so strong, I didn't want the gas to take me out of that. I said that I didn't feel like I needed it and that I could do it without. I don't recall feeling the ring of fire but the midwife said her head has fully crowned and her head will be out with the next push. I couldn't believe it, as her head didn't feel as big as I thought it would be. I thought she must be tiny!

Miraculously the song I walked down the aisle to at our wedding came on shuffle on the speaker and me and my partner welled up, smiling, thinking this is the most special, perfect moment. I had a 3 minute gap between her head being born and my next contraction. This was a really welcomed rest and I just calmed my breath, listened to our song and prepared my body to catch her. I asked the midwife to film the birth for us and that I would catch her myself. I felt her turn with the next contraction and then she flew out into the pool. I scooped her up and brought her straight to my chest and she cried instantly. I felt a huge sense of relief and euphoria to see her finally and hold her hearing her crying. I just kept thinking wow, omg wow this is the most amazing thing, it was out of this world. The midwives gave us such space in that moment. It felt like it was just the 3 of us.

 

She was born at 10:27am and shortly after I got a contraction and felt like I wanted to push. I pushed with the sensation and my placenta was delivered about 10 mins after her birth into the pool. I was always worried about the 3rd stage and I desperately wanted it to be physiological, so it was a huge relief that it happened so easily and quickly without any artificial oxytocin. We relaxed in the pool for a while then I moved to the sofa for skin to skin and her first feed. She took to breastfeeding like an absolute pro, and has been feeding like a pro since! We were tucked up in bed before we knew it as a family of 3, eating croissants fresh from the oven and drinking tea. The midwife did her checks whilst we were in bed and she weighed 9lbs 6 ounces, which landed on the 99th centile! I was so pleased I didn't get measured during pregnancy and trusted my body because I am certain I would have been anxious about her being 'big' when in fact she came just fine in labour.

 

I was so high after her birth for about 5 days. I cried every time I thought about her birth (I still do!) or listened to my birth playlist whilst doing skin to skin with her. That evening we were tucked up in our bed eating shepherds pie watching Mary Poppins on thinking 'we did it!' and what a truly incredible day we just had, it was utterly perfect and everything we dreamed of.

Thank you Poppy for putting so much time and thought into your course, audios and making it so easily accessible for families, it was such a big part of how I prepared for this dream birth 

"We did it!...and what a truly incredible day we just had"

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